


The Standard Answers Don't Apply

by bebestay



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Addams Family AU, Bambam's the cool uncle, M/M, Mentioned GOT7 Ensemble, Mentioned Stray Kids Ensemble, Mentioned TWICE Ensemble, based of The Addams Family Musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 23:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21827002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bebestay/pseuds/bebestay
Summary: They're creepy. They're kooky, mysterious, and all together ooky.Deep in the woods, there's rumors of a family living there who live for the darkness. Everyday has been as peaceful as a corpse in a grave, but what happens when their world turns upside-down because of a little love?-Changbin, the eldest of The Clan and known for his love of the dark and dreary, is torn by his obligation to the family and this new emotion called love. Will he be able to hold his family together for one normal night? Or will it crash and burn before things even get started?(Addams Family Musical AU)
Relationships: Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin
Kudos: 60





	The Standard Answers Don't Apply

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be finished by/posted on Halloween, but THINGS happened.
> 
> I did my best to stick to the script but I ended up going off book near the end since I had no idea how most of that was gonna go. Characters are added, characters are removed, backstories are changed. It was a whole ordeal.
> 
> Please check out the Addams Family Musical Soundtrack as this whole idea stemmed from the song "One Normal Night." However the title comes from the opening song, "When You're an Addams."

Every year, a group of six gathers under the large oak tree sitting among the graves that cover the ground. Here, they celebrate the cycle of life and death as well as welcome new members to their ever growing family.

"Tonight," the leader of the group said to his small crowd, "we welcome the newest member of our family. Cast away due to his interest in the night and in the odd, we accept him into our family by introducing him to every member of our clan - living dead," he gestured to the family's undead butler, "and undecided. Before he meets the others, why don't we go over what it means to be a part of our little family? Woojin, Love, tells us what it is we hope for?"

"Darkness and grief and unspeakable sorrow," Woojin replied, his tone never shifting.

"I love it when you talk sexy."

"Chan, not the time," a boy decked in black clothing from head to toe spoke out, making a gagging motion to the boy next to him.

"Right," the leader said. "Well, Changbin, why don't you go next? What are our family values?"

"Being a part of this family gives you a sense of duty," Changbin recited, " as you're obligated to the clan. So, it's family first and family last. You either live by those words or die."

"Thank you." Chan called the newest clan member up to him, smiling as they approached. "I think it's time you met the rest of them."

With a snap of his fingers, the crypt behind the oak creeked open and out walked various members of the family. Their skin ghostly white and their eyes glazy. However, they moved with a practiced grace towards the group. One ghost, a man who once roamed the seas as a pirate before his death, welcomed the newest member.

"What's your name, boy?" He asked.

"Jeongin," the boy said.

"Welcome to the family, Jeongin, I'm Jackson. Don't let your brothers cause too much trouble without you. If they do, they're just leaving ya out of the fun."

Jeongin got to know the other ancestors, not even thinking this whole situation as weird.

"He's really fitting in, huh?" Woojin asked Chan as some music was started. "And to think, we found him poking that opossum with a stick in the woods three weeks ago."

"It's not that odd. We found Seungmin poking a moose two years ago remember?" Changbin said, shifting his crossbow behind his back. "I didn't get to fire it this year."

"Yeah, no geese this time but I'm sure Seungmin would let you take a couple shots."

"You're right. Seungmin," he called, "line up!"

* * *

As the night winded down, the makeshift family packed up their things and walked the short distance back to their house. The ancestors waved as they went and made their way back to the crypt but found it locked shut.

"Uh...BamBam," a female dressed in flapper dress called out, "the crypt's locked."

"Yeah, about that..." BamBam squeaked out. "We have a small problem. It's about Changbin."

"What about him?" A male conquistador asked. "He seemed alright to me tonight."

"This problem - well, it's got a name. His name is Felix Lee, and he's Changbin's boyfriend." The ancestors gasp, a little shocked at the reveal. "That's right. Little Seo Changbin - that charming, irrepressible bundle of malice who would poison his own brother for a ride in the ambulance - has grown up and found love."

"I remember when his was first introduced," a regal female ghosts reminisced, "barely taller than he is now."

"So, what does this mean for us?" The pirate said.

"It means that I'm not unlocking that door until love triumphs," BamBam explained. "So, until the rest of the clan accepts Felix, you're not going back in."

* * *

Chan sat in the foyer, adding Jeongin's name to the family records, as Woojin walked in with a boquet of bright, yellow flowers - a stark contrast against their monochrome decorated home.

"Those are disgusting," he said. "Why are they in my house?"

"Dunno, but the return address says Park Street," Woojin answered, looking over the card that came with it. "Might be from that guy trying to buy our land. Maybe he wants to be in our good graces."

"They day we sell this land is the day the world ends."

"It's from Felix." Woojin showed off the card that came with the flowers. "How sweet."

"Changbin's friend? The one's coming for dinner? Why does he feel the need to send flowers?"

"You brought me flowers the night you met my parents. Then again, we were bringing a different set to their graves." Woojin handed the boquet to the butler. "Put those in water, would you Lurch?"

Lurch groaned and took them from her as Changbin walked in with a goose held in his hand.

"I shot dinner," he said.

"That's lovely, Changbin. Where'd you find it?" Woojin asked as he took it.

"Petting zoo up the street."

"Nice job. Now, if you'll excuse me, Lurch and I will whip up something really special. Heck, maybe we'll actually cook it this time." The group shares a laugh. "We haven't had guests in a while. Guess its time for some fresh meat, huh?"

"I can see why you married him," Changbin said as it was just him and Chan left. "Um...can we talk?"

"Sure. Take a seat." The two sat on the chaise lounge chair. "What's up?"

"Can you keep a secret?" Chan nodded. The boy reached below his collar and pulled out a chain with a ring on it. He removed it and placed it in Chan's hand.

"Look."

"If I didn't know any better," he chuckled, "this looks like an engagement ring." He was silent for a moment. "I don't think so."

"But Chan..."

"No buts Changbin. You've known this boy for a month, you can't be getting married already."

"We're not getting married immediately. We decided on a long engagement period. Besides, didn't you marry Woojin under a year?"

"That's different. We've known each other for years, and I asked him after his parents passed." Changbin sighed and gave the ring back. "We're gonna have to tell Wooji---"

"Please don't!" Changbin whined. "He's gonna aska lot fo embarrassing questions and wreck the whole thing."

"You don't want me to tell my husband that our eldest son is getting married."

"I'm only two years younger than you two."

"We still look at you, Seungmin, and now Jeongin as our kids. Don't deny it, and don't change the subject. When are you planning on telling him?"

"After dinner and after we're all friends, then I'll tell him."

"I've never kept a secret from him before, but if it's this important, I'll do my best."

"Thanks Chan, you won't regret it."

Changbin clasped the chain back around his neck, grabbed his crossbow, and went upstairs. He passed Woojin and Jeongin on the way, unaware that he was smiling.

"Care to explain why our son of the night was smiling?" Woojin asked, gesturing Jeongin to go explore the house.

"I dunno. Puberty?" Chan lied.

"He went through puberty before we met him."

"I heard some boys can go through it twice. I mean, you saw BamBam's childhood photos."

"Don't drag me into this!" BamBam yelled from somewhere in the house.

"Shut up! Puberty hit you like a truck!"

"You're one to talk!"

"He's got a point, Chan," Woojin agreed. "But back to the subject, I think you're hiding something and I think Changbin and I should have a chat."  
Chan could only watch as his husband left the room, not knowing how to lie to him for so long. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

Below the house, the kids gathered in the family's torture chamber with Seungmin chained up to the rachet wheel.

"Changbin and Felix, sitting in a tree. K-I-L-L-I-N-AAAAHHH!" Changbin cranked the wheel, pulling at his brother's limbs. "Nice one. Do it again."

"Jeongin," the youngest looked up from the other devices, "wanna pull?"

His face lit up at the chance, practically running over to take control over the lever. Changbin watched as the job was taken over, and worried about tonight.

"This dinner has to go okay," he said.

"It will if you let me blow up this Felix guy--OW! Too far!" Seungmin said. "What do you see in this guy anyway?"

"I don't feel like me around him. Ever since I met him, I want to laugh and cry and everything seems right and wrong at the same time and then sometimes I want to skin him and eat him until there's nothing left," Changbin took a breath, and leaned against the wall. "He makes me want to be normal."

"You've got it bad," Jeongin said, cranking the wheel again and grinning at Seungmin's pain. "Also, I didn't know you could talk that fast."

Just outside the chamber, the parents listened in on their conversation. Woojin bearing a small scowl on his face.

"So, he isn't just a friend. I knew it. That's it we're cancelling the dinner," he said.

"Isn't that a little extreme? He may just be going through a phase," Chan said.

"I know what love is, and that's it. Don't you remember? I was probably like this Felix kid when we met, and I fully accepted the dark once my parents died. What if he abandons us for this boy?"

"I think you're overthinking this situation. Why don't you let the night take it's course and then come to a conclusion, okay?"

* * *

As the guests' arrival drew closer, Changbin gathered the family in the living room for a last minute family meeting.

"About tonight," he started as he pulled out a pad of paper, "we'll start off with drinks and greetings. Then, they'll want a tour of the house. At eight, we'll have dinner and then Felix's siblings can be back at their hotel by nine thirty."

"What about Felix?" Seungmin asked.

"He lives over on Park Street, so not too far. He said he'll walk home. Now, any questions?"

"Yeah, is this really necessary? Being all nice and proper?"

"If we want to make a good impression, then yes. Please, this is really important to me. Has anything prior to this caused me to act like this?"

"When they put you on the honor roll at school," Woojin said. "You kept trying to convince Chan to call the school to fix it."

"Besides that." Woojin gave him a look. "Look, I know that you seem against having 'normal' people here but Felix is different and he just wants his family to meet mine."

"Fine, but we're playing The Game afterwards."

"Not The Game please! I want these people to like me."

"It's a family tradition," he said with fake sweetness.

"It's my dinner!"

"It's my house! Dinner and The Game, take it or the dinner is cancelled."

Changbin stood frozen, silent weighing his options before agreeing to the terms.

"Can I at least ask if we can act normal?" 

"What's normal?" Jeongin asked.

"Normal is an illusion," BamBam spoke up. "What's normal for the spider is a calamity for the fly."

"All I'm asking for is one normal night. A normal house that means don't feed a mouse to the plants while they're here. Maybe splash it up with some color, loose the basic black. It's all I really ask tonight." He looked as his family, pleading silently. "On all of our ancestors who've ever walked this earth, please promise me one normal night."

The family exchanged looks in silence, thinking it over.

-

A trio walked through the park surrounding the rumored "Addams Family" house - named for their similarities to the fictional family.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?" The female of the group said. "I think that's the fifth time I've seen that tree."

"Are you sure there's even a house here, Felix?" The other male of the group asked. "I'm pretty sure we walked into the woods twenty minutes ago."

However, Felix wasn't listening. His eyes lit up as he took off running before stopping in a clearing, waiting for the other two.

"We're definitely going the right way," he said.

"How do you know?"

"Because Jinyoung, this is where I first saw him. I was lost and this pigeon just dropped at my feet with an arrow in it! I look up and there he was - Changbin, with a crossbow."

"This boy walks around with crossbow?"

"Don't worry, he's got permit."

"And that makes it okay?" Jeongyeon placed her hand on Felix's shoulder. "Look, it's not that I don't trust you but we're in the middle of nowhere and the sun's going down. Why don't you give Changbin a call, reschedule, and we'll head back to our house and have a chat?"

"No!" He exclaimed. "We're almost there, and all I ask is that you don't embarrass me or be rude. That means no fussing about the family, house, or the food. I just want one normal night." The older duo gave him skeptical look. "Please, for me."

"Ugh, who taught you the puppy eyes?" She groaned, jokingly turning away. "What do you say, Jinyoung? Can we be civil for one night?"

"We can. It's Mr. Park who can't," Jinyoung said.

"Let's not mention him tonight. Actually, let's act like we don't even know him," Felix sighed. "He's been trying to buy this land for months and if they find out we're in his good graces, it's over."

"Deal."

-

BamBam sat on the porch, the ancestors gathering around him.

"Are you sure this is still a good idea?" The flapper asked.

"Yes, and besides," he leaned back on the bench, "I have the key to the crypt. Either you help these kids or you're stuck here for another year!"

"Woojin's scheduled The Game though. The night's already going to end in disaster," the regal woman said.

"Which is why I expect all of you to do your part or you're not resting until the next celebration."

All of them groaned and begrudgingly accept the deal.

* * *

As the clock struck six, the family scattered to give Changbin his one normal night. Lurch slowly made his way to the front door...very slowly.

"Lurch, come on. Hurry up!" Changbin yelled as he ran upstairs to change.

The butler only groaned as he obliged, letting in the trio. They looked around the foyer, noticing the lack of furniture and decoration.

"Maybe this is why we couldn't find it. Maybe they just moved in," Jinyoung said, removing his coat.

"I doubt it. From the way Felix was talking about this place, you'd think they be here for generations," Jeongyeon turned to give her coat to lurch. "You must be Changbin's dad. I'm Jeongyeon, and these are my brothers, Jinyoung and Felix." Lurch gave her a polite groan in response. "Okay then."

"Come on, Jinyoung," Felix said. "They're your kind of people."

"My kind of people?" He asked. "Well, where are they from?"

"That's bit of a loaded question, now is it?" A new voice perked up. Chan descended the stairs in a black suit, more on the grey side if one were to look at the rest of his wardrobe. "Our family comes from all over the place, dating back to the late 1900s, with explorers, sailors, and prisoners of war. Our history has never been bleaker, but enough about me." He holds his hand out to the trio, greeting them by name. "Welcome to our humble abode."

"Thank you. You must be Changbin's brother," Jinyoung said.

"I'm the head of the household actually. Changbin is considered the eldest son in the family." Woojin exited the kitchen with a tray in hand. "But this...is my husband, Woojin."

"Nice to meet you," Woojin said with a forced smile before turning to Felix. "Well, you must be Felix. A lovely name."

"Thanks." Both Chan and Woojin were thrown for a loop. They didn't expect such a deep voice. "I'm named after my uncle who got lost in the woods and ate his own leg."

"I don't think they need to know that," Jeongyeon said through clenched teeth.

"No, no. It's a beautful story. Changbin has a cousin who swallowed his own tongue."

"Thank you, Woojin!" Changbin interjected from the stairs. He wore an oversized pink sweater over black jeans, making Woojin's eye twitch. Stepping down, he introduced himself to Jinyoung and Jeongyeon.

"What are you wearing?"

"A sweater."

"It's pink. Excuse us." He pulled him aside, dropping his voice into a whisper. "We don't wear bright colors. Bright colors are for people with no inner life and no imagination." Turning around, he spotted Jinyoung wearing almost the same shade shirt. "Oh look. It's everywhere."

Slowly but surely the rest of the family trickled in to the foyer, looking like their complete opposties. Felix took Changbin to the side, confusion on his face.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"I asked for one normal night," Changbin explained. "I didn't realize all normal knowledge came from the Brady Bunch."

"The Brady Bunch is decades out of date."

"We don't watch a lot of TV." He looked at his family. The only one who actually seemed normal was Jeongin since he acted for so long. "Why don't I show you around the house?" Felix nodded. "I'm gonna show Felix around the house!"

"Be in the dining room by eight," Chan called out, noticing the worried looks on Jeongyeon's face. "Don't worry. From what he told me, Felix has a black belt in Tae Kwon Do but I doubt Changbin would even try anything."

"Well, that's good to hear. Um, do you have a little girl's room?"

"We used to, but we let them all go," he laughed at his own joke before Woojin hit his arm.

"Follow me," he said. "I'll show you around the house afterwards."

"Good idea. I'll take Jinyoung and BamBam down below for a little chat before dinner -"

"And after dinner - The Game."

"Like Charades?" Jinyoung asked.

"Not really."

* * *

As Woojin and Jeongyeon started their tour, she asked about the flowers.

"We did. The poem that was sent along with it was lovely. Where'd you find it?" He asked.

"I wrote it." Woojin looked impressed. "I've been writing a lot since my parents died. The three of us were all in the same foster home and got adopted by the same guy, but he's never there. I practically raised Felix by myself, and Jinyoung was working to put food on the table but we all turned out okay."

"Your adoptive father didn't even help?"

"He gave us weekly allowances but it was hardly enough separate. We always pooled it together to afford one night out for dinner and groceries at the beginning of the month. Sometimes I think he adopted us to gain good graces with the public."

"Are you happy with your little family?"

"As much as I can be. It was heartbreaking when Jinyoung and I moved out, Felix wasn't able to come with us. Dad wouldn't let him move out until he turned eighteen, but it's only a few more months and then he's out of there."

"You really care for him?"

"All three of us came from unfortunate situations, so yeah, I want to make sure that he's okay."

-

Elsewhere in the house, Changbin opened a window and started to climb out before gesturing Felix to follow. The two sat on the roof as the sky turned twilight.

"You realize they're gonna freak when we tell them?" Felix said after a moment.

"Chan won't," Changbin assured.

"Why not?" A moment passed. "You told him, didn't you?" Changbin nodded. "How are you still alive?"

"He's totally cool with it. Mostly."

"I thought we were going to tell them all together!"

"We need his help. You don't know Woojin. He could really screw it up."

"Good thing, I'm not marrying Woojin."

"I know. Look - it might seem old fashioned, but I want their blessing."

"You're right, that is old fashioned."

"If you love me, then leave it to me. I have a plan."

* * *

Down in the basement, Chan showed Jinyoung around the antique room. A chair caught the visitor's eye.

"What period is this from?" He asked, taking a seat.

"I believe the fifteenth century. My great-grandfather found and collected it. It's called 'The Heretic's Chair.' Once owned by a man named Tomas de Torquemada, Grand Inquistor of Madrid."

"All of these were collected by your family?"

"The men of this family need hobbies, don't they? Some play cards, some play golf. Me, I collect 'instruments of persuasion.'"

"Why?"

"Because it's fun! The history of the world told in agony and dismemberment. Hop up." Jinyoung followed suit. "You sit, they ask you a question. If they don't like the answer - " Chan pulls a lever on the back of the chair and a large blade popped up from the cusion. "-they'll get the one they want somehow."

"Chan, you're supposed to entertain the guest not terrify them," BamBam said as he descended the stairs. "Hey Jinyoung."

"Oh hey BamBam, haven't seen you in years," Jinyoung said.

"You guys know each other?" Chan asked, allowing the blade to return below.

"We went to school together. I was wondering where you disappeared to before graduation."

"That makes two of us." BamBam sat down a case of beer. "I moved, looks like you did too."

"Interesting. I didn't think our circles were as close as this."

* * *

Woojin and Jeongyeon circled back to the living room where Woojin was flipping through the family album.

"And this is Cousin Jae," Woojin said.

"Who's that looking over his shoulder?" She asked.

"Oh, no. That's his other head, I believe he named it Brian." He flipped to another page. "This is Somi. Changbin's first cousin, twice removed."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, unlike the rest of us, she was born into the family but left and returned and then left again. She still tries to make it family reuinions though." He flipped to another page, smiling. "This Chan and I at our wedding reception. Since we couldn't get married in a traditional sense just yet, BamBam officiated under the large oak tree outside."

"Are these your vows?" She pointed to the cards on the other page. "They're lovely."

"They're our iteration of the clan's martial vows. Any couple that gets married in this clan can turn the main vows into whatever they want, focusing on a value that matters the most to them. Our vows focus on truth and living our truth."

"So, you and Chan tell each other everything?"

"Of course."

"Everything, everything?"

"Of course. What kind of marriage is it where you keep secrets?"

"According to my adoptive father, a long one."

"Well, secrets in this family end up grim." He set down the album and picked up a different one, flipping through pages. "Jihyo kept a secret and ended up on the guillotine. Suzy kept a secret and they executed her on the scene. Chaeryoung kept her love a secret and the man's wife killed her and him." He snapped the album closed. "Do you see why we value truth so much?"

"But what if keeping the truth is a way to keep you safe?"

"Then it's poor way to keep trust in your family."

* * *

With an hour until dinner, Chan had a chat with Changbin and Felix. He examined the ring as Felix looked on proudly.

"So, where does a student get the money for an engagement ring?" He asked.

"I work after school at the bookstore. On weekends, I teach at dance studio. In the summer, I work my uncle's grocery store," Felix answered.

"Any of this true?"

"Most of it."

"What about you're free time?"

"I think about the future, and what it means for Changbin and I."

"And what do you want to be when you grow up?"

"Maybe a professional dancer. Or a medical examiner."

"A medical examiner? Why?"

"You get to look at the inside of people's bodies and they don't mind because they're dead."

"Where did you find him?" Chan said, throwing an arm around Felix. 

"Yeah," Changbin smiled. "It's kind of a miracle."

"Chan!" Woojin called out causing Changbin to hide the ring away. He walked into the room, suspicious of the group's previous conversation. "What's going on in here?"

"Just interrogating the boy. If he weren't so normal, he'd fit right in here," Chan said, arm still around Felix. "Come along, Felix. I'll show you the moat. Have you ever seen a rat as big as a dachsund?"

"No, sir."

The three of them started to leave, but Woojin grabbed Changbin by his collar.

"You, stay. We need to have a chat." Reluctantly, Changbin stayed behind as the other two left. "You've been acting odd all night, and I don't mean the good kind. Talk."

"I just want tonight to go perfect. I can't really relax until it's over," Changbin said.

"Are you sure that's the only reason? No secrets you're keeping from me?"

"I promise."

Woojin stared into his eyes, judging. Deeming that no lie was hiding in his eyes, he let Changbin go. Jeongyeon got to his head, mentioning secrets. This family always told the truth, no matter what. Maybe he's just over thinking.

* * *

Changbin and Felix returned to the roof, trying to escape for a little while longer before dinner.

"Put the ring on. Just for a minute," Felix gestured to the chain around his neck.

"After dinner," he said.

"What if they hate each other?"

"What if they don't? Be like me and look on the bright side."

"You're crazy," He smiled, placing a kiss on the side of his head.

"Get a room," a voice said, scaring the two of them.

"Seungmin!" Changbin exclaimed. "Shouldn't you be with Jeongin?"

"I left him with Lurch in the dungeon. Last I saw, he locked Lurch in the Iron Maiden."

"At least, he's having fun," Changbin murmured before turning to fiance. "Felix, please excuse me while I kill my brother."

"Let me handle this," Felix said, fully turning around. "What's up, little man?" He lifted his hand for a high five, but didn't receive one.

"Are you trying to be cool?" Seugnmin asked.

"Trying is the key word here."

"Cause you're not cool."

"Your brother thinks I am."

"He'll get over it."

"Why do you say that?"

"He's having and identity crisis."

"Okay, we're leaving now," Changbin grabbed Felix's hand and pulled him back into the house.

"Can I come?"

"Sorry, Minnie. I'm with Felix now. Bye."

Seungmin watched them go, a little sad as he climbed out on to the roof. He sat there for a while before the was joined by two other people. BamBam sat on his left and Jeongin sat on his right.

"You get bored torturing Lurch?" He asked.

"Yeah, once he was in the Iron Maiden he wasn't as fun. He's still there, I'll let him out before dinner," Jeongin answered.

"So, what you doing on the roof by yourself?" BamBam asked.

"Thinking," Seungmin answered.

"About what?"

"What's gonna happen when Changbin leaves? Like, what if he finds out that our family's lame?"

"Why is that such a big concern? I think you should be happy for him. We may be a family of doom and gloom, but we all still deserve to be happy."

"But what if all of our good times are already behind me?"

"That's life, kid. You lose the thing you love." BamBam leaned back on his hands. "Now, quit whining about Changbin and start thinking about you and how you're going to live your life. Besides, Jeongin's here now. I'm sure he'd be more than happy to toture you in his place."

"It's not the same."

BamBam placed his hand on his head, putting down his hair.

"Tell you what. I need to organize the cabinet in the library, someone left it a mess." He stood up and started to crawl back through the window. "Wanna come Jeongin? Might as well finish your tour sooner or later.

-

The three sat in the library, boxes of bottles on the desk, arranging them by alphabetical order.

"Why do we have so many?" Jeongin asked. "I don't remember you guys ever talking about stuff like this being used in the family."

"We don't use them. Aunt Momo does, but her apartment doesn't accept her chemicals. So, we let her store it here," BamBam explained.

"Do you even know what these are and what they do?" He nodded before seeing Jeongin lift a purple bottle. "So, what's this one?"

"Peyote, makes you run around naked in the woods." A blue bottle came up. "Bookoo leaf, put that in your bully's food and an hour later, they're in a padded room screaming that they're Spartacus." Jeongin looked at it, considered, and put it away.

"Why does she have so much of this one?"

Looking over, BamBam noticed a pure silver-like liquid sloshing in a large glass bottle. Having a moment of panic, he ran over and grabbed it out of the youngest's hand.

"Whatever you do, stay away from this one!"

"What's it do?" Seungmin asked, his attention now focused on the bottle.

"This is Acrimonium, it takes the lid off the id. Basically bringing out your dark side, making you reveal any secret you may be keeping." BamBam turned to lock the bottle in a box, not noticing the glint in Seungmin's eyes. "If I find out that you touched this, it's a night in the crypt...during the day."

-

The bell for dinner rang and everyone made their way to the dining room. Well, all except for Seungmin. He took a little bit of time to pick the locked box and take the Acrimonium.

He planned to pour it into Changbin's drink, making him spill about the wedding, believing that Woojin would call it off and make everything go back to normal. However, if there's one thing he should remember, it's Murphy's Law. Anything that can go wrong, will.

* * *

The family and guests sat at the large dining table, having just finished their large meal. Chan thanked Woojin for the meal as lurch slowly but surely cleared the table before a medium sized box was placed in front of him.

Changbin looked at the box out of nervousness, knowing that nothing he could say would deter Woojin from playing. Chan noticed the look, and tried one more time to stop the game but he wasn't budging. Mouthing "I'm sorry" to his eldest son, he slapped the top of the box.

"Tonight, at the request of my lovely husband, we will be playing Obligacion de Revelar or for you non-Spanish speakers, Full Disclosure." Opening the box, he pulled out a silver chalice that shined from his constant polishing. "Everyone will take a sip from the family chalice and confess a secret they've never told. Loosely based on the Inquisition, you have to absolutely tell the truth."

"Or what?" Jeongyeon asked.

"Or there's consequences," Woojin answered, glaring at Chan.

"I don't think I'll be very good at this game"

"Nonsense. Now, I believe Chan will go first."

"Woojin," Chan said through clenched teeth, "the host goes last." He cleared his throat. "Who would like to go first?"

"I'll go!" Jeongin said.

"Alright, Jeongin, let's hear it."

The chalice was passed to him, and everyone watched as he took a sip. He paused for a moment, setting the chalice on the table.

"I was the one who shot you with the arrow yesterday, Chan, not Changbin," he said.

"I knew it!" Changbin exclaimed, leaning forward in his seat.

"I'm sorry. I'm still new to this family and I thought you guys would kick me out."

"We'd never kick you out," he assured. "I can't tell you how many arrows went into Chan's shoulders when I was learning how to use it. You shouldn't have been scared to tell us, Jeongin. A little blood doesn't hurt anyone."

Jeongin smiled over at his older brother, gently passing the chalice back.

"You also shouldn't keep secrets, Jeongin," Woojin said. "We're a truth telling family as trust and truth keep a family together. Plus, Chan found it funny. He kept remembering those exact arrow scars Changbin left beind as I sewed the newest one shut."

Chan and Changbin shared one more look.

"Anyone else?" Chan asked, holding the chalice.

"I'll go," BamBam said. He waited for the chalice, taking a sip once he had it, and waited for a moment. "I'm thinking about getting back into the dating scene."

"Really?" Chan smiled. "You swore off dating years ago."

"Yeah, well...I met an old flame while at the market and I want to give it a shot."

"Is it Mark or Jackson?" Jinyoung said.

"Yugyeom actually. He moved back to town after school ended, and frankly I was surprised. Last I heard, he wanted nothing to do with me. Then suddenly, he's back in town and wanting to catch up like nothing happened but I want to give it a shot."

"I think that's a brave decision," Chan said. "It's always difficult to reunite or fix whatever relationship was broken, but the best move is to try. Right Woojin?" Woojin remained silent. "Well, full disclosure then. Who's next?" His eyes scanned the table. "Changbin, how about you?"

"Yes, how about you Changbin?" Woojin said. "You seem to have something that you want to get off you chest."

The chalice passed in front of Seungmin, and he used the distraction to pour the Acrimonium in as it passed him.

"I think I'd like to go last," Changbin said, pushing it away.

"No, I insist you go."

"I can wait. Why don't you go?"

"You know that I hide nothing, so go ahead."

As the two continued their back-and-forth with the chalice following the motions, Jeonyeon started choking after she had continued to pick at the table's peanuts. One went down the wrong pipe in her throat and she started coughing as she hit Jinyoung on the arm. Looking over, he immediately started to panic and reached for her glass. In his rush, he grabbed the chalice instead of her glass.

The room went silent as she drank every last drop from the chalice. Seungmin grasped his hair in panic, upset that the potion went to the wrong person.

"Jeongyeon," Felix started as she set down the chalice, "are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" She said. "Am I OKAY? I haven't been okay since the day I had to move out to get away from Mr. Park. Do you know how much I worry about you? How much I wish I could rewrite time to make sure someone different adopted us?"

"Jeongyeon," BamBam said, slowly rising from his seat, "I suggest you stop speaking before you say something regret."

"Shut up, BamBam! I've been through a lot the past few years. I've taken on several jobs to support my little brother until the day I could get him out of our father's house. As much as it pains me to say it, I feel like I did everything alone." Jinyoung and Felix were taken aback. "Jinyoung may have been the first to move out, but all three of us are still affected by Mr. Park's actions. Hell, Jinyoung shares his exact name! Do you know how much that hurts? To constantly be connected to the money hungry CEO of the city? Expected to be stuck up rich kids? No, you don't!"

She took a breath, not realizing that her face was growing red.

"Ever since Felix told us that he wanted to marry Changbin, I've been patient and understanding. However, now that I see what this family is like, I don't think this dynamic is any better than what we had growing up. Siblings who barely get along, a weird uncle, parents that believe that trust is the most important value even when it's obvious one of them is keeping a secret? What kind of family is this?"

Jeongyeon gasped for breath as her vision grew heavy. Jinyoung stood up, hand on her back, and took her out of the dining room. Felix had leaned forward, head in his hands. This is not how he wanted the night to go.

"Well," BamBam said, "I think Seungmin and I need to have a little chat."

He stood up, grabbed the middle child by his ear, and dragged him out as well.

"Jeongin," Woojin said, "why don't you help Lurch with the dishes while I have my own word with Chan, Changbin, and Felix?" Noticing the tension in the room, Jeongin quickly walked out of the dining room. "Please tell me that I heard incorrectly. Marriage? Who's getting married?" The trio remained silent, but jumped when he slammed his hands on the table. "Who's getting married?"

"I--I am," Changbin stuttered out.

"I don't think so, Changbin. Marriage is out of the question, especially now that I know that their father is Mr. Park. The very same Mr. Park that's been trying to by this very land since Chan and I were younger, knowing goddamn well why we will never do that."

"Sir, please," Felix started.

"Not a word from you. How do I know that you didn't seek out Changbin to get close to us for your father?"

"Woojin," Chan said, "you heard what Jeongyeon said. They're as affected by his actions as we are. So give me one reason, on why Felix would try to betray him?"

"Like you betrayed me?" Woojin snapped. "We built this marriage on truth and trust, and you betrayed me tonight. We've never kept secrets from each other, so why'd you start tonight?"

"That's my fault," Changbin spoke up. "I knew that you'd act like this if I had told you sooner. I asked Chan to keep quiet until we were ready. Felix and I wanted to get on everyone's good graces before telling you guys. We were going to tell you, but look at how tonight went. Everything that could've gone wrong, did."

Woojin tightened his jaw, eyes scanning over them one more time before he got up and left the room. He passed BamBam, still holding Seungmin by the ear, and walked out the front door. Changbin sighed, placed the ring on the table and walked out as well. Felix picked it up and silently stared at it.

"Bam, please tell me you have some kind of good news," Chan sighed, dropping his head to the table.

"Well, this could be taken either way, but this one," he tugged Seungmin's ear higher, "put Acrimonium in the chalice when it was being passed to Changbin."

"Acrimonium?! I thought Momo took all of that with her when she moved out!" Chan exclaimed. "Seungmin, how much did you put in the chalice?"

"All--all of it," he said, his voice small.

"That's why she exploded the way she did," he mumbled. "One sip leads to a simple confession. An entire bottle brings out all of the hidden thoughts and feelings one hides."

"Am I in trouble?"

"Immensely so. You're not allowed in the dungeon, the crypt, or any where outside of the main house except for school for a month. That includes your arsenal too. You and Jeongin will switch rooms as well."

"But his room doesn't have anything fun to do!"

"Exactly. Now, go." Sighing, he watched BamBam led him out of the dining room and upstairs. He looked over at Felix, still staring at the ring. "I'm sorry. I wish I could've prevented all of this."

-

The ancestors peeked out from their hiding spots, faces sad as the normal gloom of the house turned miserable. They saw Jinyoung and Jeongyeon in the living room. The boy wiping sweat from her head as she woke up.

"What happened?" She asked. "Everything's blurry after I took that drink."

"Well, it's good to know what you really think about our father, but I think the worst damage was done to Felix. I don't think he's getting married anymore."

"What?!" Jeongyeon shot up. "What do you mean?"

"Changbin just ran upstairs. I think he was crying."

Chaeryoung placed a had on her chest, right where her heart used to be, understanding that love can hurt so much. How she wished that she could tell Changbin love is worth fighting for. Too many members of this clan had lost reasons to live because love was forceably removed or never reciprocated, she didn't want to see it happen again.

Making a choice, the gentlemen followed Woojin out the front and the ladies followed Changbin upstairs.

-

Changbin sat on his bed, wiping away some tears as the ancestors walked in. He didn't realize they were there until Jihyo placed an arm on his shoulder.

"What are you guys still doing here? I thought you went back into the crypt," he said as he saw them all.

"BamBam foresaw all of this happening," she said, "and he wanted some help to keep things from going wrong. Great job we did."

"It's not your fault. I should've just told Woojin from the start."

"Bullshit," one of the younger females said. "I've watched that boy since him and Chan first met. He's always acted like that, hardly ever showing emotion."

"Chaeyoung, language," Jihyo berated but started to brush Changbin's hair. "But still, you couldn't have seen any of this happening. Love is a fickle thing and all of us should know that. Most of us married into the clan, and some of us died for it, but if there's one thing I know for sure, is that Woojin will realize that his reaction was dumb and he'll apologize before the end of the night."

"Yeah, but Chan has to apologize first," Suzy bit out, "and we know how easy that boy will cave. His heart is to soft for how black it is."

"But what if this is a sign?" Changbin asked. "A sign that Felix and I shouldn't even be together?"

"If you keep thinking that, I'll have BamBam leave me out of the crypt to smack some sense into you every week. Of course, you should be together. I've never seen you act they way you do around anyone but him. He makes you happy and ypu've never cracked a smile like that one since the day you became a part of this clan." Changbin sighed. "Look, your uncles and cousins are having some words with Woojin as we speak."

* * *

"If he wants to get married so bad, maybe he should just kill me to get married!"

"Woojin, I think you're taking this the wrong way," Jisung - another ancestor - said, his voice level. "No one wants you dead."

"I mean, if he thinks he can get engaged to a boy he's known for months or weeks, he's got another thing coming."

"You're starting to sound like you're parents. Didn't they say the same thing when you and Chan started dating?"

Woojin paused, silence taking him over. Long before he and Chan married, before they even thought about marriage or dating, they were two kids who had crushes on each other. When he told his parents, they had flipped their lids when they realized that his heart belongs to the spooky kid in school. Things were never resolved before they passed away, but then nothing stopped them from being happy.

"Am I really turning into them?" The ancestors nodded. "I'm that bad?" They nodded again. "Oh no. I'm the worst father ever."

"No, you're not." Woojin spun around, seeing Chan leaning in the doorway. "You're just protective. Could I have a moment with him please?" The ancestors nodded and stepped away. "What did I tell you when we started dating?"

"That if I became my parents you'd knock some sense in to me." With a chuckle, he let Chan cuff him upside the head as he sat down. "Do you think he hates me now?"

"Hate? No. Upset? High probability." Woojin put his head in his hands. "I've never seen him this happy, Woojin. I haven't seen this kind of happiness since the day I asked you to marry me. The spark you had in your eyes is what I see in him every time he looks at Felix, and I saw it go out when he gave the ring back."

"What?"

"Changbin called off the engagement for you. He thinks that everything that happened tonight is a sign that him and Felix don't belong."

"Where's Felix now?"

"Crying in the dining room. His siblings have been trying to calm him down."

"And Changbin?"

"His room." Chan set a hand on his husband's knee. "Go talk to him."

* * *

Jihyo continued to pat down Changbin's hair as the other female ancestors sat around them. His tears had stopped but the room was still a bit somber.

A knock on the door broke them out of the silence. Chaeyoung opened it, finding Jisung on the other side.

"Yeah?" She said.

"Woojin wants to talk to Changbin. Is he okay for more company?"

She looked back at the bed, seeing Jihyo shrug before the boy nodded. The ancestors reluctantly left the room to allow the father and son to speak.

"Hey," Woojin said as they were left alone. "You okay?" Changbin shrugged and sat up, pulling his pillow into his lap. "Look, I may have seemed harsh but I only want what's best for you."

"By ruining my happiness?" Changbin snapped. "Woojin, I haven't felt like this since you and Chan got me out of that house, since I felt like I could be myself. I know this family has a passion for the dark and we're so settled in this lifestyle, but with Felix, I'm being pulled in a new direction. I find myself smiling at cute things and looking at the bright side of life." He sighed. "Felix makes me happy like Chan does with you. Now, I don't think I'll be able to be this happy again."

"Because you gave him back the ring?"

"Do you blame me? Look at how you reacted. I was already scared that you'd say no but hoped tonight would change it. Then Seungmin did something stupid, and it all just blew up in my face."

"I may have....judged too quickly." Changbin stared him down. "Okay, I did judge too quickly but can you blame me? You're barely 20 and you've known this boy for how long? A month or two? Of course, I was going to react harshly. Look at how I grew up, it wasn't all starlight and shadows as Chan and I made you kids believe."

Woojin walked over and sat on the bed. He hesistated running his hand across Changbin's shoulders but the boy leaned into the touch.

"I'm very happy that you have found someone you could spend your life and afterlife with, and I'm sorry that my actions caused that to be ripped away from you. However, if you want to know for sure that it's over between you and Felix, talk to him. I can't even begin to imagine what's running through his head right now."

-

Down in the living room, Jeongyeon and Jinyoung did their best to comfort their little brother. The ring sat on the coffee table, lonely and missing its shine.

"What did I do wrong?" Felix whispered.

"Nothing. You did nothing wrong," Jeongyeon assured. "It was me. I shouldn't have said all those things, no matter how much anger I had hidden in my system."

"Actually," Bambam said from the living room's entry way, "you wouldn't have said any of those things at all if it weren't for Seungmin." They looked confused.

"Before you had possession of the chalice, it was filled with normal water. When it passed the second youngest, it was filled with a potion that made someone speak their mind at the smallest sip. You drank the whole thing which made you blurt out every dark thought you've had bottled up."

"But what does this mean for Felix and Changbin?" Jinyoung asks. "If Woojin objects to everything, what's to stop him from forbidding them from seeing each other?"

"Because Woojin went through nearly the same thing a couple years back. His family was like yours, normal and cookie-cutter, but he knew something drew him to our family. His parents forbade him from seeing Chan, but that didn't stop them. They saw remained friends until his parents passed away, then they got married two months later." Bambam walked over and sat in the love seat. "So Felix, if you really love Changbin, you're going to fight for him and prove that you can survive whatever this world will throw at you. Got it?"

"Got it," the boy nodded.

"Good. He's outside shooting Ichabod, go and have a chat."

"He's equipped?"

-

The arrow hit the tree with a thunk before a branch reached down to rip it out. Changbin sighed as the arrow landed back his feet and Woojin chuckled at his expense.

"Ichabod," Changbin whined, "you know it's only fun if you leave it in. I wanna see how well my aim's gotten."

"You're aim is fine, son. Ichabod's just returning your arsenal," Woojin said. "You're down to only three after you fired the last six through Jeongin's window. That reminds me, I should go tell Lurch to free Seungmin from them before we all head to bed."

"I think he should stay there. He ruined my love life." He notched the returned arrow. "If he ever finds his other half, I'm nailing his tongue to the bathroom floor."

"The family one or the guest's?"

"Definitely the guest's bathroom. It hasn't been cleaned since grandma died, and I wasn't even around yet."

Silence floated around them as Changbin lined up another shot. A short cough broke it as he pulled the trigger, putting it slightly off target. Ready to snap at whoever it was, he turned and aimed but lowered when he saw that it was Felix. He stood there awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck, as Woojin walked to him.

"If you're here to settle things and give that ring back to my son," Woojin whispered as they met, "good. If not, you have another thing coming."

Felix nodded as he walked away, hands out palms first, to Changbin. The crossbow weilding boy tightened his grip and stood his ground.

"Hey," Felix said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "can we talk?"

"Depends. Did you realize that you can't be part of this family and want to call everything officially? Break my heart more than it is?"

"Of course not. I love your family. I never thought I'd find one that would accept how weird I am, but now that I have, I don't wanna leave."

"Even if we're a little crazy?"

"Please I'm crazier than you."

"Oh yeah," Changbin smirked. "Prove it." Felix reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out an apple. "What's that supposed to prove?"

"Shoot it off my head." He chuckled at Changbin's confused face. "You heard me. Shoot the apple off my head."

"My aim isn't 100% perfect."

"I think the six arrows pinning your brother to the hallway wall beg to differ."  
Felix walked over and grabbed his hand, leading him closer to Ichabod. He stopped him about 100 paces from the tree and pulled out Jeongyeon's scarf from another pocket.

"Are you sure?" Changbin asked, receiving a nod. "Okay." Taking it, he tied it around his head, perfectly blocking out any view around him. He raised the bow towards the large tree and waited. "Ready?"

Felix walked up to the tree, leaned his back against the trunk, and placed the apple on his head. All he saw in his view was Changbin aiming the bow at him with the twilight sky behind him. For a moment, he swore he saw other people standing there but they faded away when he blinked.

"I am." Felix knew his voice was shaky, but his trust was stronger than his fear. "Fire when ready."

The ancestors watched everything setup, fear in their own eyes. It's not that they didn't trust Changbin's aim, but this was too much to prove a simple point.  
Jihyo started directing the other ancestors to span the length of the distance between the pair. She hoped that this would lead the arrow straight to the apple if they were to guide it by hand.

"What if it doesn't work, Jihyo?" Hyunjin, one of the more recently deceased members, asked. "Dodging a bullet, let alone an arrow, isn't like the movies. Believe me, I know."

"Hyunjin, we're dead," she huffed. "We defy logic already. A little space-time manipulation is nothing."

Now lined up, the ancestors waited for the arrow to fire. Time seemed to slow down as Changbin went to pull the trigger. Within a breath, time stopped as the arrow left the string. The ancestors, using all their will, led the arrow from the crossbow into the apple. The world let out a sigh as the apple was now pinned to the tree. Changbin removed the scarf to find Felix stepped back and staring at the fruit before seeing Jihyo in front of him. With a nod towards her, he ran towards Felix.

"So," Felix sighed, "how crazy?"

"I'm still crazier." Changbin laughed, slinging the bow over his shoulder. "Can I have the ring back?"

-

The two walked back to the house to find Jinyoung, Jeongyeon, Chan, and Woojin speaking in the living room. Lurch took the crossbow and placed it in the closet as Changbin told him to go and remove the apple from Ichabod's trunk.

Felix took his hand and led him towards the family. Chan was the first to spot them.

"I take it that you've worked everything out?" He asked.

"We have," Felix answered. "However, we're going to hold off the wedding for another year or so. We want to get to know everyone in each family first. Don't need an awkward wedding."

"Yeah, our family's had enough pitchforks and angry mobs to last us a couple more generations of weddings," Woojin joked. "But, I suppose we can overlook the family relations as long as you don't invite him to the wedding."

"He was the first one I crossed off the list."

"Well, we've been talking," he gestured to Jinyoung and Jeongyeon, "and they seemed to have gathered enough evidence over the years to make a case for a restraining order against Mr. Park for the three of you should you feel it to be necessary. After all, the lawyers in our family have always won their cases."

Felix looked to Changbin for confirmation.

"It's how I got out of my old life before I became of age," he explained. "My Uncle Jay 'found' enough evidence to convince the court that they'd been neglecting me for nearly a decade and allowed me to be emancipated from them. They weren't all to happy that I like the macabe over business. Seungmin and Jeongin's cases aren't all that different either."

"You really think it's going to work?" Jeongyeon asked. "Mr. Park has connections in many places."

"So do we," Chan said. "In fact, we have more connections than Mr. Park. We just let him think he has an advantage because misery enjoys company. We just build it up to watch it fall."

"You know what Felix? I think you'll fit in this family perfectly."

"We think so too."

Jinyoung, Jeongyeon, and Felix jumped as a new voice joined the conversation. The ancestors had manifested in the living room, settling into the conversation. Jihyo sat next Chan, a smirk on her face. The other ancestors stood or sat around the room and smiled. 

"What's going on?" Jinyoung was confused by the smiles on their faces. "Is this house actually haunted?"

"You said you wanted to meet the family," Changbin smirked as he wrapped a hand around Felix's arm, ring shining on his finger. "First, we need to welcome you to the family."

* * *

One year later...

A group of eleven gathers under the large oak tree sitting among the graves that cover the ground. Here, they celebrate the cycle of life and death as well as welcome new members to their ever growing family.

"Tonight," Chan said to his small crowd, "we welcome the newest members of our family. Having won their case against their previous guardian thus saving our land, we accept them into our family by formally introducing them to every member of our clan - the living, the dead, and the undecided. We also celebrate the wedding of our eldest son, Changbin, and his husband, Felix," the clan gave a round of applause to the newlyweds, "as well as BamBam and Yugyeom. For tonight, we celebrate the endings and the beginnings of our family for it brought us all together." 

With his final word, the family crypt opened once more and started a new year of adventure for the creepy and kooky family in the woods.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading "Standard Answers Don't Apply!" There will be no sequel for this, so please do not ask. It is meant to be a stand-alone fic.
> 
> I'll be writing another musical AU soon, so be on the look out for that.


End file.
